Improve Your Attitude: Turn Negatives Into Positives
Look at the Worst Case Scenario
This might seem counterintuitive, but I’ve found that when you are staring at something that seems insurmountable, look at all the options, including the worst possible one. When I found out that one of the buyers of my business didn’t get her financing approved at the last minute, I was crushed. I felt a migraine coming on for the first time in my life. I have planned for over a year, and have already gotten my head around the things selling will accomplish for my family. After a mini melt down, I went into analytical mode. What is the absolute worst thing that could happen? This part of the sale is for the branch office, not the main one. The main office sale is still on. The worst case would be that I would have to close the branch office and take a loss. I would still have enough income to cover bills, and it would help with my taxes. I just wouldn’t have a lump sum payment to kill my student loans this year. While disappointing, I could live with that. In the end, the buyer has resubmitted her financing, and it looks like we are on for March 1. I’m hopeful, but won’t be crushed if it doesn’t happen..
You can also view debt this way. If you have no idea how much you owe and are only making minimum payments, afraid to add it all up, just do it. What is the worst that could happen? You owe lots of money and need to pay it off. You might even have to file for bankruptcy. It might take years, but you can recover from that. Look at Donald Trump, not so bad. Short of kicking the bucket, most obstacles can be overcome if you are willing to change and move forward in a positive way.
Turn Setbacks into Opportunities
When I was finishing optometry school, I applied to several residency positions. All were in the Southern US, where I had always lived and was comfortable, although not necessarily happy. I was led to believe I was the top finalist for one of the positions in Memphis, where I prefered to stay. At the last minute, the residency was awarded to someone that didn’t go through the formal application process. I had already turned down another position so that I could accept this one. That was a double blow because I had no job, and I felt like a loser because they picked someone who didn’t officially apply over me.
I ended up taking a residency position on the Navajo reservation in Northern New Mexico. This country girl did not know what the heck she was in for, but it ended up being the best thing that could have happened. I loved the West, and still live in the same area, just across the border in Colorado. I met my husband about six months after I moved here, and the position that I accepted was four million times better than the one I didn’t get. It taught me how to be an independent thinker and trust in my training and abilities. When you are out in the middle of the reservation, you’re pretty much it. There aren’t specialists in the office next door to help you out. Sometimes a missed opportunity opens the door to an even better possibility.
Start Saying I Can Instead of I Can’t
We all certainly have our skills and weaknesses. You don’t have to know how the final scene will play out. Don’t get so tied down in what you aren’t able to do that you miss out on the things you can. When we realized that we were $30,000 in credit card debt, that number seemed much to large to ever pay off. My husband’s teacher salary is only $33,000 a year, a whole year of work to pay off debt. It certainly seems impossible if you look at it that way.
What we could do was pay off the first balance of many. I believe it was around $800. It took almost no time. By focusing on what we knew we could do, the rest fell into place. We rocked it once we had the correct attitude. Take this month and every time you hear yourself say “I can’t” change your mindset. Maybe you think it’s impossible to save $1000, but I bet you can save $50. Build from there. If you can do it for a month, I bet you’ll never cross back over to the negative side.
Life is unpredictible. You can live it enjoying the positive things you have or moaning about the negatives. Most everyone who is reading this likely has basic necessities and opportunities to improve ourselves if we take them. I love to analyze options from all angles, but life is so much better if you can find a way to turn the negatives into positives.
What negative has turned into a positive for you?
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I couldn’t agree with you more about turning negatives into positives! Being an optimist is the best way, not only with money, but in life! Great post!
I remember when I was in debt in my early twenties and it took me awhile to pay it off. But they key was to stick with a payoff plan…it worked 🙂
Glad you stuck with it. It’s very easy to get sucked up in the debt and let it ruin your credit. It takes years to recover.
Your point “he position that I accepted was four million times better than the one I didn’t get.” is exactly how I view setbacks or things that do not turn out the way I wanted them to. I find that when things don’t turn out the way I had hoped it usually means that something better is in store for me and it is just around the corner. The thing is to be patient (which isn’t always my strong suit) and wait it out.
It was very hard, as I had my heart set on that other position, but taking a risk paid off big time.
Great post! The best thing you can do is to not hang out with other negative people, especially if you are in a bad space yourself! Seeking out positive people to surround yourself with in life is the greatest thing you can do for yourself. Keep writing, Kim!
I totally agree. Negative people can form their own club if they want, but leave me out.
I spent 5 minutes trying to think of a bad situation that I turned around. I couldn’t do it. My approach is to forget about the bad things, but not before taking a lesson from them. It’s like I tell people, when I walk out the door at the end of the day, I have already forgotten about work, and focused my attention to the rest of the evening. I find it’s just better to take what you can from a bad situation then put it behind you and move on. Otherwise, you’ll never be able to live your life.
Absolutely. Dwelling on what went wrong gets you no where. Make sure you don’t repeat the mistake and move on.
Love this article. I have always been a glass half full type of person. You can always turn around bad situations, all you need to do is work at it.
I think anyone who has a financial blog must be that way a bit. Otherwise who would want to read how much your life sucks.
This is a concept that many never “get” because they have been raised in families where complaining or being negative is the norm. The negative I have turned into a positive is this: While I am a huge proponent of a positive “can do” attitude, I didn’t realize that I can be negative at times until my husband mentioned it. When I look at my own family I can see what I have to overcome – negative bickering, focusing on the bad parts of life, and highlighting others’ faults. So now in family situations I like to say “if you’re not saying something helpful, please don’t say anything at all.” And low and behold, it works!
I’m curious if you have a large family. I’ve found that with several people I know who are pretty negative, they grew up with huge families. Maybe the only attention they got was negative so that’s all they know? My mom is one of six and she can be like this at times.
I always think in terms of a plan B. When I go through the decision process, I have alternative plans. You always need alternatives. Many times you do not get your first choice and you have to find a way of adjusting to the alternative.
I’m living proof that not getting your first choice can work out to your benefit.
I always look at the worst case scenario and find alternatives. If I am prepared for the “worst case” then I can effectively handle anything. My wife hates that I do this, but it sets me up to not be disappointed. When we had a bad year in 2010 and everything kept kicking us down, I was keeping upbeat. People at work call me the unluckiest guy with the best attitude. I don’t let life hold me down.
Great attitude! I remember when it was rumored that a pot shop (medical marijuana) was going in next to our satellite office. Everyone was distraught. Pot heads everywhere. But then I thought how much traffic it might bring. People buying pot generally have money to spend. I don’t discriminate! There is always a positive somewhere.
Thanks for this — it’s a good idea always to stay positive!
Turn that frown upside down! Sorry, that’s cheesy.